Loc Reigment: The Natural way.

Hey Queens,

I wanted to introduce my friend Chane, she and her daughter are embarking on a Loc journey. Why am I putting then on the page you ask, well the entire point of the Samantha Halle brand is it’s a lifestyle brand and includes: hair, beauty, and all around health. Her regimen for Locing her hair is fantastic and she uses nothing but all natural products. Plus i was have thoughts on Locing my daughter's hair. If you are interested in embarking on a Loc journey read about her regimen and experience.

Loc Regimen: Raw Organic Honey Sea Salt Water For re twist.

The honey makes my hair harden and since I have a loose natural curl pattern and the fact that I am still at the baby loc stage it helps A LOT with unraveling . Sea salt water helps to dry your hair out which is a great for trying to start your Locs. We get our hair retwisted every 2 months because the new growth is impeccable. Whereas if we were to go every two weeks , it'll weaken our Locs due to excessive retwisting . My feelings about my journey are mixed ... At first I decided to get Locs because I was at a standstill with my natural hair . Every product I used seemed to either weigh my hair down or dry my hair out so UP went the pineapple puff, same situation with my daughter . We began the journey because every morning it was a struggle to do my hair and my daughters natural hair . From Bantu knots , to twist outs to the occasional braided hairstyles ... her hair and scalp were suffering BAD ! Long story short , my daughter and I LOVE our Locs . She enjoys waking up in the morning and not having to get her hair done . I love the versatility of my Locs and not necessarily have to do my hair in the morning as well lol

The Year 27

Another year has come, but this year I didn’t cry. Not like when I turned 25 and realized that I wasn’t getting any younger. Now it’s the year of 27, and I am ready. I have gotten over the fact that I am screeching close to 30, but that is another bridge I’ll cross later. 26 wasn’t too bad, it was the year of preparation and God made that painfully clear every time I tried to step outside of his plan. I was forced to sit down and make goals or myself, and be content with the process of my life.

There were times where I found myself drifting back, when I compared my success to others, when I didn’t give myself enough credit, when I started to get lazy, or when I didn’t practice forgiveness. Facebook and social media can be good things but they can also be destructive devices. I found myself looking at where other people were who I went to high school with and who were my age. I was intimidated by their success and it bothered me that it took me such a long time to get on the bandwagon. I hated the fact that while I was trying to find myself, they had their eye on the bigger picture. However, after an eye opening conversation with my mother—she always knows what pill to give me to get me back on track—I realized all of our stories are different. I have to grow content in my process so, when I get to my end result I will be far more grateful. I put on my mascara, lipstick and held my afro high as I continued to make these moves. I have plenty of great ideas, but I have come to realize that most of them won’t reach full potential until I finish this first step, school.

I am preparing, and it was hard for me to understand what exactly that meant at first. I am doing things and creating unpaved pathways for myself. So, when the time comes, I can easily walk down the paths that I have already created, that were waiting for me to have the right credentials to enter. Majority of what I am feeling is anxiousness, I am almost done with school, and I plan to go to Graduate school, but am I ready for the success? Am I ready for all the things I have been preparing for? Mind over matter, yes I am, I am ready. I have worked hard to I get all of this and I am ready to take what is mine. 27, still a year of preparing, but we are laying the last layer of pavement on the walkways, we are cutting down the last cluster of trees and we are eliminating the last layer of toxic people. The year of 27 is here and I am not going to waste it, Happy Birthday me.

Believing When it is Hard to Believe

            Belief has been a hard pill for me to swallow as a Christian, more so having a faith. As a single mom it was hard for me to believe in anything other than myself, at first. However, when things started to become more difficult, I understood that something needed to be done. With pride sitting in the back of my throat I couldn't tell my family. But, with tears welling in my eyes I knew I needed someone. I was drowning, between school, work and the everyday struggle to be the perfect parent, I was drowning. I felt overwhelmed by the world, I pushed away from everyone because I didn't want them to see me struggle. I was Samantha, I always had my duck in a row--or so I was told.

            One night in my room, after my little girl closed her eyes for the day I went into the my closet and prayed. I prayed out loud, I wrote in my journal, and I wept. It seems like I was only in there for a 30 minutes at the most, but it was hours. I unloaded everything to the Creator, and i could feel Him listening. I thank Him for all He had already blessed my with in life, and how grateful I was. But,  at this time I needed Him, to take this stress and weight off my shoulders. That night He answered me prayers. I felt light, and i slept more soundly. I saw things in a different hue.

            From that point forward, I would write in my journal, quoting scriptures, asking question, having a pure conversation with the Creator. Every worry, or want i put in my book was met or diminished. It was amazing, i could feel all of Him filling me up with each time i wrote a sentence. As a single mom., student, and full time employee writing in that book made me feel better, like I has someone to leave all my troubles on.

            Queens, you don't have to carry the weight of the world. Part of His love for you, is taking on your burdens and worries. You have to be brave enough to have faith and let Him have them. This year, 2017 I challenge you to have faith. Whatever is heavy on your heart, let it up to the Creator. Feel how easier life moves, and things fall into place.

 

Calling All Transitioners

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I have some products for you to try. My sister is transitioning; she has been for a few years. She keeps switching it up bouncing from relaxed to natural, back to relaxed to natural again. This inconsistency can be traced in the strands of her hair. Each strand has about four different textures; most trasitioners have two.

My sister wanted mini twists, I knew it would be a challenge due to her hair not curling naturally, but I gracefully accepted. After she cleansed her hair with Wen’s winter line I sectioned her hair into fours. This will make it easier and organized when I begin to install the twist. Starting with one section at a time I work with even smaller sections, layering moisturizing products. The first product I use is Miss Jessie’s Curly Pudding. This product is very moisture rich and my sister’s hair loved it. Then I layer on my Shea butter mixture for added moisture and to seal in all the goodness. Lastly to ensure definition and hold I added S-Curl gel. Twisting the hair until 2 inches from the ends, then rolling the end with a purple perm rod. My sister stayed under the dryer for one hour until everything was 95% dry. She loved it.

Transitioners, I want to bring your attention to Miss Jessie’s Curly Pudding. This was my first time working with this product. I always hear good things, but I wasn’t sure if it was because it actually worked or because of the hype on YouTube – you know how misleading YouTube can be, sometimes. However I was impressed, it promised to provide a moisture rich foundation and hold for styling. The part that really caught my attention was it claimed to hold like a gel without the crunch or residue. It held up and I was pleased. I really needed it to perform as it claimed because my sister wanted to get as much wear out of these as possible. I even wanted her to be able to take them down and have another look before washing it.

Transitioners know that moisture is key to minimizing breakage between the two textures. However, creating a regiment that you can be consistent with is another component. Hair strives on rituals, so be consistent.

What Happened When I Oil Rinsed My 4a/3c Hair

Sometime ago, I was looking to find a solution for adding more moisture and shine to my hair. My combination 4a/3c hair loves moisture and truly will let me know if I am not satisfying her needs. I saw vlogger Naptual85 doing an oil rising challenge and her results were amazing. So, I decided to give it a try myself.  

 

What I Did

I used ir oil blend at I made myself: sunflower oil, olive oil, grape seed oil, and coconut oil, and I warmed the blend in the microwave. Warming the oils helps e penetrate deeper into the hair shaft. I applied e mixture o my hair after havin rted it to four sections. I used a comb to detangle; some may choose to only use their fingers. However, my hair is too dense for only my digits. Next, I twisted up each section after applying the oil blend, and pulled a shower cap over my hair. The cap is used to trap a small amount of heat around your hair. I only kept it on for about five minutes; the process isn’t upposed to be long.

Many people use oil rinsing as a replacement for a “pre-poo.” However, it’s not recommended for those who suffer from conditions like Hygral Fatigue (swelling and contracting of the hair cuticle that can lead to weaker strands. Details on that here.) Oil rinsing can be good for added moisture after a protein treatment or even after conditioning during your weekly wash routine. It’s good for refreshing in between styles and detangling; it’s also good for reducing frizz and shine. However, be careful, as it can cause build-up, especially on looser curls, and it can cause excess shine. It can also trigger irritation for those who have eczema, dandruff or any other scalp irritation.

 

The Result

 

Before oil rising I struggled to find products that would give me shine and moisture. I could always get one but not the other. After working this into my weekly hair regimen for a month I noticed a huge change in the manageability of my hair, as well as added moisture and shine. I continue to oil rinse but not as intensely as I did for my trial run. When I do my weekly deep-conditioning I apply a generous amount of coconut oil on top of the deep conditioner, leaving it on for about 30 minutes. After rinsing, my hair shows me so much love, being more manageable, shiny and, of course, moisturized.

 

Source: http://un-ruly.com/oil-rinsing-4a3c-hair/#.VfQgXh_fDM8.tumblr

Its getting cold Outside

It’s cold outside, which means it is time for you to change your hair routine. I have learned the hard way that some products don’t work well in the winter.

I omitted coconut oil in the winter. This oil is great however, the cold air make it solidify. This is what creates the white residue in your hair. I switch it for olive oil, which I have been using for years.

This winter I was introduced to the Miss Jessie’s stylers, the Pudding and the Meringue. Both of the products promise to create hold without residue as well as being extremely moisture rich. A+ These products do just that, plus the smell is fantastic. They are just right for my dense hair and are even suitable for my daughter fine hair.

I stumbled upon the S-curl gel by accident, but I am pleased. It gives hold and shine as well as no residue. It doesn’t crunch and promised to condition as well. Plus it does have any sulfate, alcohol, or petroleum.

I have always heard good things about the healing clay but I wasn’t sure if it was just a YouTube hype. No, this stuff is amazing. After I cleanse my hair I mix the powdered clay with ACV. After 20 minutes my curls pop so beautifully. It doesn’t leave residue or dryness. What a find!

Even in the winter month I stick with my Aussie moist conditioner. I mix the conditioner with oil for added moisture. This stuff has great slip and smell – never leaving my shower.

Hope this helped those who are on the hunt for winter products. What are some products you use?

Motherhood vs. Natural Hair

 

I have been natural for 5 years and over those 5 years my hair hasn’t been the only things to drastically change. I have my beautiful daughter. She is a wild lump of sugary joy. But, she is also more than a handful. She takes up majority of my time because I am a single mom.

The question I have for you is, how do you find the balance between caring for you natural hair and  being a mom? Having natural hair is almost like having a child as well, it is very time consuming. I guess what most of you will tell me is to find time for myself. However, when I do have time I am either catching up on my beauty sleep or working. HELP!

What are some way you fine your “me” time?

Through Rose Tinted Glasses -- The Year is 1964

Through rose tinted glasses: the year is 1964, Pops is playing “doo wop” while handling Ma in the kitchen. She slaps him away annoyingly and continues to make stew. Yes, stew, comfort food. She always knew what to make when it was cold outside. Pops still handling Ma, smiling a Cheshire cat smile, the corners of his mouth barely grazing his ears.

Ma skins the potatoes, he dances around her. Kissing her every once in a while to remind her that he has not forgotten his motive. She smirks, reassuring him that she wasn’t as annoyed as she played. Plop! In the potatoes go.

“Hey, baby!” HE starts walking down memory lane as the song changes. She chops the carrots, laughing and shaking her head sharing in the reminisce. Pop puts his finger tips on the back of her knee moving them rhythmically as if her thigh was an instrument of music. “Yea I remember,” Ma says as Pop finished his stroll down memory lane. Splosh! Add the carrots.
Pop, slides over to the freezer and pulls out a bottle of Hennessy. Ma dices the celery, glancing over her shoulder. * Smrik* He pulls a glass out from the cabinet, swaying his hips and biting his lip as he pours his elixir into the crystal. Splash! Only a few more ingredients.

Finally moving from her cooking station, Ma moves past Pop and grabbed the beef from the fridge. His eyes light up with desire, as if he had just seen her move for the first time. His fire unnoticed she continues with dinner. Grabbing seasonings from the cabinet above her, like a witch conducting the perfect spell. Flicking and shaking smells and colors onto the pieces of chopped cow. Plop plop! Meat!

Pop, is starring at her intensely, licking the last of the Hennessy off his lips. The song changes, he walks up behind her. She’s pulling the leaves off a rosemary twig, sprinkling them into the stew. He nestles his nose in her mountain of hair, orange jasmine. She closes her eyes anticipating what is to come next. Pop wraps his arms around her waist and they sway to the song, one complete unit. Lightly kisses her neck. *Swish* Spins her around to face him. Before he kisses her, she stares her in the eyes, silently reminding her how much she means to him.

Then it begins, a hot, wet coalesce between lovers. After a few hours of heavy breathing, rubbing, teasing the doorbell rings. “Hold on,” Ma tries to yell, while gasping for air. Pops buckles his belt and pulls over his tank. Walks to open the door allowing Ma more time to collect herself. ”Hey daddy!” It’s baby girl, she is smiling a toothless smile because she missed him. She jumps into his arms. Pops kisses her on the cheek. Walking to the kitchen baby girl releases herself of her school clothes, leaving them scattered in a trail from the door to the kitchen. Ma is waiting by the table smiling — she bends down to hug her baby. *Sniff* Orange jasmine.

Around the table the three sit, hand in hand, thanking God for bringing them together. Stew pot in the middle of the table, a delicious center piece. Ma pours some for baby girl, then Pops. He takes a bite, perfect. She isn’t a witch, but a fairy, who concocted the perfect love potion, stew. They love her, they indulge in every bite, staying in a dreamy state to prove that love her. Comfort. Food.

November 30th

I have never experienced death before – everyone that has been close to me was alive and well. Until November 30th 2015, I had just taken my French final exam when I got a call from my aunt. In a trembling voice she said, “has anyone called you about Grammy?” I stop mid-step in the busy University hallway, almost holding my breath I reply no. “She is in the hospital, she isn’t breathing”, at this moment my current reality melted away and I was suspended in nothingness. My ears began to buzz and a sense of dread slithered down my spine.

Sitting the parking lot of Savannah State University my mind was racing.  I called Kendall, talking a mile a minute trying to fit fact and emotions into one breath of words.  **Click ** I have to get it together, she will be fine – I kept telling myself this. My mom calls me calm and conservative asking me to keep everyone in the loop when I got the hospital – seeing as though everyone lived at least 8 hours away.

The drive to hospital seemed long – which is not ideal in Savannah, GA where mostly everything this is a 10 mile radius. She will be fine – a phrase of comfort I keep replaying in the depth of my mind. The receptionist in the hospital walked me back to emergency room 4, my grandfather was sitting in a chair a few feet away from the rooms entry way. His face was sunken with exhaustion and although his face seemed positive his energy proved otherwise. He gave me a hug and motioned for me to follow him outside. I was unprepared for what came next – his face squirmed and squished until his emotions burst out of him. Tears fell down his cheeks and sorrow sang from his vocals. My first instinct was to hug him and tightly. Holding my grandfather I knew what the future held and my heart broke.

The door to her room was cracked open, I could see whispers of busy bee doctors working on my grandmother. I could see her body jerking and jolting as they were trying to revive her with CPR. Nurses circulated in and out of the room, some smiling some not – I hated the ones who smiled. The doctor came and told us they got her back, she was breathing – but the road wasn’t easy. They transferred her to the ICU – but were weren’t allowed to see her. The forced my grandfather and I to sit in the waiting room. There were two vending machines on the back wall; couches and chairs that crowded the remaining walls; a mounted TV playing terrible afternoon soap operas; and the slight smell of urine. We sat in there, not talking, eyes starring off into the distance trying not to think about the fatal future. I held my grandfather’s hand, squeezing it so tight that my knuckles turned white.

Finally in the ICU there she was, my glamorous Grammy bed ridden with tubes jammed down her nose and throat. It all seemed unreal – “Frances, Frances” my grandfather rubbed her head and called her name. As I look upon her face I could tell she was already gone. She didn’t respond to his touch or is words. The noises started again, the piercing beeping and chiming of all the machines that crowded the room. Nurses rushed in and pushed us out. “This will be the third time we have tried to resuscitate her. If she doesn’t come back from this one and we have to keep trying she will be have major brain damage. Would you want us to stop or continue?” My grandfather calming told him to stop if she didn’t come back and continued by say they had conversation about this prior. My eyes drifted from their conversation and back into the room. There she was again jerking and jolting as they pressed all their weight on her chest. Then I heard it – the sounds of blood in her throat gurgling as they inhaled and exhaled for her.

                Eleven minutes passed, the doctor came out to my grandfather – “stop” he said and the doctor acknowledged his request. My body folded into itself and I collapsed into the chair outside the doorway. I picked up my phone and called my mom, and two aunts on a conference call – “she is gone”. My mom kept asking me to repeat myself because I couldn’t bring my voice above a whisper. I felt if I whispered that maybe I would be wrong, maybe everything I witnessed I comprehended wrong. But my mom kept asking me to repeat myself, until I couldn’t say anything else.

                This day November 30th 2015 was not supposed to be the day my Grammy passed, a woman who loved me when no one else did. This day was supposed to be day I was almost finished with my second semester of my sophomore year of college. It was supposed to be the day that my daughter came back home from her dad’s house. It was supposed to be the day I went to work and talk craziness with my co-workers. Instead it was the day kissed my Grammy’s caramel tones forehead for the last time. I wasn’t prepared for this, less than 24 hours before her and I were driving back to Savannah after attending a wedding in Myrtle Beach. 48 hours before she was doing the wobble with me on the dance floor in her grey suede high heel boots. 72 hours ago she was telling me how proud of me she was. I wasn’t prepared for this.

Long Distnace or Nah

There are a lot of questions pertaining to long distance relationships and how do they work.  I will make a disclaimer, as a college student – especially a freshman – don’t worry too much about long distance relationships. Your focus should be figuring out who you are and your place in the world. You can’t focus on that if you are worrying about someone else well-being.

The foundation of this relationship should be love, of course. However, beyond the love there should be trust and understanding. When dealing with matters of the heart trust and understanding are crucial. You must be understanding of the emotions that will occur due to the distance. As a partner you have to compassionate and know where these emotions are stemming from; the sheer sense of missing your other half. As individuals you must be focused, goal orientated and independent. As individuals in this relationship you are going to be spending a lot of time apart. Therefore, this will give you ample time to focus solely on your goals.
Remember the purpose for the distance, for most it will be a career choice. Remember the reason for your distance, and keep in mind that this is only temporary.

However long this temporary distance past you must be prepared to expect certain obstacles and milestone in the relationship during your absence. Expect a few arguments in the beginning as your melt into your new way of life. Both of you are going through attachment issues. Both are you are dealing with a “loss”. One or the other may lash out as a reaction to their feeling of loneliness. Loneliness is going to play a big role in the beginning of long distance relationships. As you begin to feel the distance you long for the feeling of someone lying next to you or experiencing everyday life with you. Don’t fall into the temptation of having a temporary fix to your loneliness. This persons will not fill you up, just the lost time before you see your partner again. My suggestion is invest in a very good vibrator and call it a day. I am not saying to stop making friends, but crate boundaries. That way you are not tempted to cross them.

The worst part of it all is the judgment and lac of positivity you may receive from outside sources. It may come from your friends and your family, just remember to block that out. Those vibes will only force you to grow feelings of doubt in your partner, and thus far, create anxiety. You don’t want that, you will turn into a crazy lady, and that is extremely unattractive.

Now that I have scared you, let me give you hope. Long distance relationships can work, but it takes work. Communication is key, it is key is all types of relationships. If you are feeling a certain way, express that with your partner. Maybe they can help you through your emotional rollercoaster. Holding it in will not help, you will just explode later when it is unnecessary. Make time for each other, whether it a Skype movie date, or spending time on the phone talking about your day. Showing love is a great way to keep the flame. Showing importance in the small things, this shows how much you care. Illustrating how much you care from a distance will prove the strength of love when you are near.

                Being in a long distance relationship is hard, but it can be made easier when you still show your partner that this distance is temporary. Hope this helps. Xo